Fergus 6 years on from diagnosis and Starship - memories of that day.

It's 6 years ago since Fergus was flown by Life Flight to Starship Children's hospital. He was diagnosed at 10 weeks old with a Congenital Heart Condition that was on the severe end of the scale.

Fergus is a fighter - he made it to 10 weeks old even though he wasn't gaining weight, was vomiting with feeds, seemed to have a cold, was snuffly (which was actually from having fluid on his lungs) and fell asleep from the exertion of feeding. All unbeknownst to us because his heart and body were struggling to just keep him alive.

I'm so glad I realised things weren't quite right and kept going back, to plunket to weigh him and the GP on the 9th Jan who refered him to a Paediatric doctor in Nelson Hospital for the 15th Jan 2009 visit to Out Paitents that became a life changing day for Fergus and our family.

I'll never forget that day, Kerry and I were there with Fergus (Jared and Anton were with grandparents). The doctor met us in the waiting room and said to me "has he been breathing like that for long" she checked his vitals then took us into a treatment room in children's ward, they called for an Echo to be done and from the way they were talking between themselves I knew this was serious. They put an IV line in one arm and Fergus was admitted, then the doctor came in and after talking by phone with the starship doctor said Life flight was on the way to take us to Starship.
At this point we were in shock but got focused on what we needed to do, there was only room for one of us in the plane so I had to go and Kerry would follow in a commercial flight the next morning.
We rang our families and Kerry went home and packed me some things to take. My Mum and sister came to the hospital. It all seemed so surreal. They wanted to put a second IV line in for the flight and the Nelson doctors tried but couldn't get one in his tiny veins, when the Life flight team arrived their doctor tried again but the only place they could find a viable vein was on his head. They put Fergus in a portable incubator and we left around 10pm, took an ambulance to Nelson airport, got loaded onto the plane (they put Fergus in the back with the doctor and nurse and I sat in front, it was pretty noisy and Fergus had a pair of tiny sick on earmuffs put on and I had to wear earmuffs too, it seemed like the longest time on that flight in the dark with only a few lights below us, nothing familiar and my head full of thoughts and questions and all I could do was look behind me to try and see if Fergus was doing ok), we both flew for our first time to Auckland, then another ambulance ride to Starship, and into PICU where Fergus was settled into a little bed surrounded by machines. I had to go and learn how to express and it was now 12am.
What a day it was!

Today and every day I'm thankful for the people who helped us, the prayers that were said and for God who heard and answered those prayers and blessed us with our children and gives us the strength we need each day to live in victory, with joy and love in our hearts.
We have Abundant life and abundant blessings!

Fun, Joy and Cheering! 2015

Well here we are in 2015, the old saying "time flys when your having fun" seems a good way to describe the last year or two!
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My family is and has been my main focus at this amazing time in my life (coming up 12 years a Wife and nearly 11 years a Mummy/Mum) and I'm so thankful to be able to share my life with my favourite 5 people in the whole world everyday. (Yes we now have 4 boys, we welcomed Dominic Seth to our family on 27th January 2014).

My family is so precious, I've been blessed with my husband and 4 boys, I love these guys, MY guys so much!

There's a lot going on in a household full of boys/men (and its not just eating, sport, cars, making clothes dirty and playing minecraft or Xbox, but you could be fooled in to thinking it was…lol)

There are some big things taking place every day. Such as each one discovering their individual and different personality and traits, their heart, passions, giftings, loves, finding the place where they can be and love themselves, aswell as the struggles and fights that they face and the breakthroughs and victorys that they celebrate.

My guys are:
beautiful (handsome according to them), smart, funny, amazing, rowdy, bousteroius, gentle, caring, loving, crazy, cool, loud, quiet, vocal, warriors, physical, thoughtful, outgoing, reserved and so much more!

I just wish the days were longer, as there never seems to be enough time to fit in all the things that have to be done with the fun stuff I'd rather be doing or time I'd like to spend with them, and by the time we've got all those other things done, the fun doesn't seem long enough!

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I get to love, observe, guide, listen to (even when the words are few) and encourage each one in different ways.

Throughout their journey I'm there; holding their hand, hugging it out, calling their name, cheering them on, picking them up, brushing the dust off, sending them out, welcoming them home. And they know it :-)

A recent example of this was the school production. Two were in the chorus and one was a dancer.

The chorus came into the hall over the main stage, (I had a spot at the back where I could stand up and wave, I was holding Mr D and sitting next to me along with Dad, were 4 grandparents and aunty too).

Mr A came in first and I'm waving flat out and cheering hoping he'll see us, he is waving to the crowd but doesn't appear to see us but I still wave as he walks over the stage and he kind of glances toward me as he reaches the far side to go down the stairs.

Next is Mr F, he sees me and waves and beams us a big smile, now we're all waving and cheering and he's looking directly at us as he reaches the otherside he bumps into the boy in front as the line slows down and gives us one more wave as he goes down the stairs.

Mr J, we see during the show dancing up a storm, at the end his group is introduced and all come onto the stage and he is smiling and waving, as are we right back at him.

When I talk to them all later their comments were:
Mr A, I saw you waving at the back (but he didn't show us in his reaction),
Mr F, I saw you all waving (and we knew it) and
Mr J, I couldn't tell where you were but I just waved cause I knew you were there.

It just made me think about how different they are and how what I do for them is seen, acknowledged and responded to in their own way, but is still valued greatly.

I've thought about it a lot since then and resolve to always wave! (weather I think they see me or not and I look like the crazy Mum in the back, I'm not one to make a spectacle of myself but for them I'll make an exception, WHY…because they know I'll be there!).

This made me also refect on my relationship with God and helping the boys to grow in theirs.
Weather I've got my eyes on the path ahead, I'm looking right at him, or I'm in the spotlight and can't see out into the crowd. Theres one thing I know… GOD'S THERE, he's my, my hubbys and the boys biggest fan and cheerleader!

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Psalm 73:23-28English Standard Version (ESV)

23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
    you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will receive me to glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
    you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
28 But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God myrefuge,

 that I may tell of all your works.

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I'm looking forward to the year ahead and finding more time for fun, joy and cheering; as I cherish each age and stage we reach and achievement we make along the way!